You start out by saying you don't want a debate about suppressor vs not suppressed but then basically beg the reader to do just that.I don’t want to start a huge debate about suppressor vs not suppressed .... but I’m still on the fence due to the added length when in use and for storage...so I’m open to suggestions.
Are you saying you only want suggestions that are pro-suppressor?
My suggestion? Don't get a silencer for your pistol. Get one for your rifle and make sure it's a short barreled rifle so the extra length of the suppressor isn't as much of a hindrance.
Which brings me to...
You need to be able to hear the others and they need to hear you.
If your concerned about any weapon being taken from you then get some training, those few inches are not a make or break deal.
The ringing may not go away, I took an ear plug out in 1986 so I could hear my spotter while on the M2, the ringing has never stopped, don't assume it will.
I always can when I can.
How much training have you had since your M2 days? Being disarmed in CQB is a very realistic concern and no amount of training will negate the laws of physics. Adding 5-8+ inches of length to a pistol is kind of a big deal. It's going to double a pistol's overall length and way more than double the leverage someone can apply if they manage to grab the silencer/muzzle on your pistol.
If we were talking about "should I buy a handgun with a 4, 5 or 6 inch barrel?" I might agree that an inch or two is a relatively inconsequential decision. When we're talking about 5 inches or 13 inches that's a significant difference. Probably at least twice as easy to disarm someone with an equipped silencer. Is that enough to make or break in a self defense encounter? Well... my crystal ball into the future is cloudy and my Magic 8-Ball says, "Ask again later".
A handgun's chief benefit over a rifle/shotgun in a CQB is it's increased maneuverabiltiy. Intentionally diluting that mobility is a decision that has considerable tactical implications. I can't tell anyone what is right for their particular situation/threat assessment but telling someone, "It doesn't matter" strikes me as being poor advice.