eford,
I'm tending to think your red dot isn't the problem. The popular red dots that fit the XL are all very light weight.
I consider Blazer Brass to be of "medium" power. If your gun is already broken in, it may perform with Blazer Brass. If not broken in, try to find a few hundred Winchester White Box 124 grain NATO spec rounds. Bullet weight aside, NATO spec is pretty "hot", comparable to +P ammo.
If ammo is the problem, you may have to work with what you can find untill the shortage gets better. That may be a while.
A worn out recoil spring will also cause your problem. Bit if your gun has less than 4-5,000 rounds, that's not real likely.
Last; 95% of folks who limp wrist don't believe they do it. Limp wristing is not normally caused by weakness, it's normally just a failure to grip hard enough. I tell folks to increase the grip untill thier hands tremble, then loosen just a bit. Pretend you hate your gun, and are trying to choke it.
Only you can figure out whether the problem is ammo or grip.